|Just for the Inauguration
|The Break-Up of Aerosmith
|Don't mess with the pop up book
|Crazy N.C. Laws
These are Laws in North Carolina that make no sense.
North Carolina Crazy Law
Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.
|Angus VS. Angus
Which one plays guitar?
Is it Mr. Angus Beef or
Mr. Angus Young
Personally, I think Mr. Angus Beef looks like Dustin.
And Mr. Angus Young looks like Eric.
If you know leave a comment (Seriously, this is a trick).
|In Honor of Election Day, 2008
A boy went to the grocery store with his mother. She bought him a box of Animal Crackers. He dug through all her bags, and pulled out the box. He then dumped them all over the table. She came upstairs, holding four shopping bags, and saw the animal crackers all over the table. When she asked the boy what he was doing, he said: "On this little sticker, it says 'Do not eat if the seal is broken'. I'm looking for the seal."
|I thought that these were funny, so ....
#1 A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
#2 Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a blad eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big black bear walking on that hill, over there."
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
#3 ( the last one) Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said, "The plane can only take four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind." They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other hunter. I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!"
[Created by Owen Webster with "Pivot"]
These jokes were voted number one in the world in a magazine poll.
Here is number one in the USA.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
This is number two in the USA.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
This was number one in the UK.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
These r funny lol.
by Da Beast
|Caturday pics are pictures of cats in weird positions with text on them. The humor is often offbeat and most people won't find it funny. Anyway, here it goes...
This is a picture of monorail cat.
There is no known reason why it says FGSFDS.
A man and his friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course a new vehicle. They drive out onto the frozen lake and get ready.
Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two men standing there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.
|The Truth: Santa Claus
|Before the explorers of the New World, people made up many things to say what was on the other side of the world. In the end, there was only one truth: Two Big uncolonized Continents. I intend to do that same truth, but with Santa Claus. People have come up with many different reasons as to why Santa delivers presents to the children of the world, but I have the truth.
Nick's had the average life of most male humans throughout High School, potty training, learning to read, elementary school, having insane urges to dance and sing, watching Kim Possible every day. Falling in love with High School Musical you know, Guy stuff.
But one day, Nick was working on a 20 page essay on the effects of why hooking shopping carts up with "Bling" was bad as a result for a certain punishment when all of a sudden, Nick sees a reindeer outside. Now Nick, being a crazy person willing to get in all sorts of trouble for fun, decides "Hey, wouldn't it be so cool if I could ride that thing". So, Nick throws some corn out the window, luring the deer to his window. As the deer comes by, he then jumps on the deer and shouts YEEHAW! The deer then starts to panic and jumps around flailing trying to get Nick off and eventually, flings Nick into a port-o-potty. Nick, and the guy inside the port-o-potty, were unconsious for quite some time but our story is focused on Nick so lets tell about him. While in his dream, Nick did the exact same thing he did about 10 minutes ago, except the deer talked to him and said "Hey bruh, sometimes it can be fun, but doin crazy stuff can get you killed bruh" "And if you don't stop picking your nose, I'll bite your ear off". Nick then replied "Well, whats the point in life without fun?" "And I'm not picking, I'm scratching". The deer then explained to him that there was an even better joy than doing the crazyest thing you can do: Giving to someone else. He also explained that crazy stuff is still fun and you can do some of it, but there is a line. Nick then wakes up 30 minutes later to find his left sock stolen with an "I O U" in his shoe, so he starts walking back to his dorm. Nick spends all night thinking about what the deer said and he comes up with a conclusion. Go on different people's rooftops and drop presents in their house during Christmas time so people will be happy and he won't get in as much trouble. Nick has no idea how he is going to get on a rooftop, or why someone would leave an "I O U" for stealing a sock. Then he notices something on his T.V. People are doing these amazing jumps on motorcycles, and only half of them crash and severely hurt themselves. So he decides, "I'm going to Get a motorcycle". The next day, Nick goes to the motorcycle store to purchase a motorcycle and just as he is about to buy one the clerk says "Do you have a motorcycle license?" Nick then replies, "No, but I have voices in my head telling me to bribe you". The clerk then lets Nick have the bike for 20 extra dollars and Nick screams in joy "Boom Chacka Laka". At 3:00 a.m, Nick arrives at his Mom's house with a wooden ramp and a cool red hat with a white ball at the end that he got from Wal-Mart ready to jump and deliver his present to his mom. 3...2....1 VROOM VROOM he jumps and lands exactly inside of his mom's house unharmed with the bike exactly on the roof. He then places the present under her tree and walks out of the door to get his bike. When he looks on the roof, he finds that raccoons have eaten his motorcycle. Nick is crushed, and he takes a piggy back ride on a hobo back home. The next day, Nick goes to a yard sale because his dorm was getting fumagated due to the stench of not taking a shower for 6 weeks. Nick then sees this really cool raccoon repellent sleigh and figures he has nothing else that is raccoon repellent. He then purchases the sleigh for 2 dollars and gets pimp my ride to attach jets to it. So, everything works out from there great, he finds flying reindeer behind a Target. He gets the red suit in a trash can behind Hanes Middle School. And he becomes the Santa we all know and love.